Sunday, October 18, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Ms. Rebel..
This is it.. this is really it? it starts with a saying that my boy told me that's intended for motivation.. "For those who feel.. life is tragic.. and for those who think.. lifes a comedy.. (yes! this blog is yet again about a female.. but the last about this particular one).. If you are sick of heart wrenching then dont read... but if u love getting ur jollys off drama then proceed..
2005 - I'll start it from when i became mature enough to realize that the person who thought was my best friend was not, but more my self proclaimed soul-mate... I mean this was years back when i told one of my good friends. "i think Love her"... But how could i? i knew what she was.... a girl infatuated with new york city life styles... they call it the rotten apple for a reason... its a pool of abhorrence and disease.. and she was ready and willing with a bathing suit.. Yet i saw something else... i saw a beautiful mind with artistic vision.. and the love. she has so much of it that she's capable of giving every man in the world love everyday for the rest of their lives.. yea she's the one...
april - 2008 - After i came out of what seemed a God given situation with my baby mother... i had to follow what my heart truly desired... Her.. There she was.. digits in my fone that i i forever pretended to not favor.. I call it.. Her voice was still so damn entrancing.. i remember not being able to fall asleep in my jail cell without replaying in my mind a song she use to sing to me .. although her spirit is so heavenly, this angel harbored a the darkest cloud.
For a while i would call her my princess.. cause she was!! i would do anything for her... and in return she would tell me things that men could only wish their woman told them.. it was perfect.. i had my dream girl... although i never understood how come she would like to bring me around her old partners... and boy did she have alot of them... but still i had to keep my happiness a secret from my baby mother or else in a jealous rage i wouldnt be able to see me son.. but i told my closest friends.. and they all said i looked happy.. i told every last thing about me, even things i didnt even know i still knew... but my love still could not leave her old ways...
i trusted her alot.. more than i trusted my own blood.. so when i went to a friends party one night, i didnt mind if she wnt to hers... i had no idea it would result in her leaving with a stranger to go back to his house... the image of my princess was shattered... My heart would have been able to forgive if it hadnt taken 6 months later to find this out.. throughout that time frame a major ingredient in our love just vanished. or maybe it was a major flaw in our love that surfaced.. however you look at it.... My angel just didnt love me, at all.. this cant be.. i need to think. then i found it.. i'll have to do things to test her love... she constantly failed.. i mean.. not seeking me if i'm hiding.. she didnt care... oh lord knows i wanted her to care soo much.. Alll she did was talk.. and i wanted it to be true so much that i believed the talk... i figured if maybe time went by she would love me foreal.. so i waited..
College.. the first highschool relationship i was in, my girl fucked homie in the dorms... So im sure we all know what college is really meant for... now im the one being tested it seems.. should i continue to stay with my love who already has a broken image about her during her greatest times if experiments? i said yes.. because she has enough experience already.. i was wrong.. She was attending BMCC.. its like throwing a kid in the jumpy ball cage things at mcdonalds.. except the balls are pedophiles... once again i knew this.. i didnt want to believe it... love was supposed to be guaranteed...
Today may - 2009 - .. it happened again.. she slipped.. almost strategically on Que.. words i will never forget... "you are the only dude i've been fucking raw this year". back to the "motivational" quote. "For those who feel.. life is tragic.. and for those who think.. lifes a comedy"
moral of the story.. do not ever fall in love with actresses. ever!
is it bad that i still love her??
2005 - I'll start it from when i became mature enough to realize that the person who thought was my best friend was not, but more my self proclaimed soul-mate... I mean this was years back when i told one of my good friends. "i think Love her"... But how could i? i knew what she was.... a girl infatuated with new york city life styles... they call it the rotten apple for a reason... its a pool of abhorrence and disease.. and she was ready and willing with a bathing suit.. Yet i saw something else... i saw a beautiful mind with artistic vision.. and the love. she has so much of it that she's capable of giving every man in the world love everyday for the rest of their lives.. yea she's the one...
april - 2008 - After i came out of what seemed a God given situation with my baby mother... i had to follow what my heart truly desired... Her.. There she was.. digits in my fone that i i forever pretended to not favor.. I call it.. Her voice was still so damn entrancing.. i remember not being able to fall asleep in my jail cell without replaying in my mind a song she use to sing to me .. although her spirit is so heavenly, this angel harbored a the darkest cloud.
For a while i would call her my princess.. cause she was!! i would do anything for her... and in return she would tell me things that men could only wish their woman told them.. it was perfect.. i had my dream girl... although i never understood how come she would like to bring me around her old partners... and boy did she have alot of them... but still i had to keep my happiness a secret from my baby mother or else in a jealous rage i wouldnt be able to see me son.. but i told my closest friends.. and they all said i looked happy.. i told every last thing about me, even things i didnt even know i still knew... but my love still could not leave her old ways...
i trusted her alot.. more than i trusted my own blood.. so when i went to a friends party one night, i didnt mind if she wnt to hers... i had no idea it would result in her leaving with a stranger to go back to his house... the image of my princess was shattered... My heart would have been able to forgive if it hadnt taken 6 months later to find this out.. throughout that time frame a major ingredient in our love just vanished. or maybe it was a major flaw in our love that surfaced.. however you look at it.... My angel just didnt love me, at all.. this cant be.. i need to think. then i found it.. i'll have to do things to test her love... she constantly failed.. i mean.. not seeking me if i'm hiding.. she didnt care... oh lord knows i wanted her to care soo much.. Alll she did was talk.. and i wanted it to be true so much that i believed the talk... i figured if maybe time went by she would love me foreal.. so i waited..
College.. the first highschool relationship i was in, my girl fucked homie in the dorms... So im sure we all know what college is really meant for... now im the one being tested it seems.. should i continue to stay with my love who already has a broken image about her during her greatest times if experiments? i said yes.. because she has enough experience already.. i was wrong.. She was attending BMCC.. its like throwing a kid in the jumpy ball cage things at mcdonalds.. except the balls are pedophiles... once again i knew this.. i didnt want to believe it... love was supposed to be guaranteed...
Today may - 2009 - .. it happened again.. she slipped.. almost strategically on Que.. words i will never forget... "you are the only dude i've been fucking raw this year". back to the "motivational" quote. "For those who feel.. life is tragic.. and for those who think.. lifes a comedy"
moral of the story.. do not ever fall in love with actresses. ever!
is it bad that i still love her??
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
the baby moms is at it again.. im just pissed yo.. i've been doing what i do for years.. and just because her uncle is an a&r.. she gets all these opportunities that a normal musician would never get.. but ima stay humble and greatfull .. hopefully our son can be in the industry without having to work as hard as i am...
goodluck
-galaxy
goodluck
-galaxy
Thursday, April 9, 2009
i need to stop under charging and stop being lazy.. i cant eat off that alone.. i need to go after the bigger heads... theres not one day that goes by and my son is not in my thoughts.. it gets overwhelming at times but from another light its definitively motivation...
Yesterday i didnt get any sleep at all.. and i had program at 6pm after morning classes.. they have strict rules at program like doors locked at 5;59, no sleeping, no phones, and let us brain wash you by repeating this useless information on a weekly basis.. and of course i get kicked out for "shutting my eyes".. see that was 7th absence of 6 allowed. and being that its a court ordered program i pretty much violated it.. which could lead to possible arrest.. i really dislike this government.
Yesterday i didnt get any sleep at all.. and i had program at 6pm after morning classes.. they have strict rules at program like doors locked at 5;59, no sleeping, no phones, and let us brain wash you by repeating this useless information on a weekly basis.. and of course i get kicked out for "shutting my eyes".. see that was 7th absence of 6 allowed. and being that its a court ordered program i pretty much violated it.. which could lead to possible arrest.. i really dislike this government.
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